turkeytime
27 November 2008 01:07![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chrryblssmninjaHappy Birthday, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
decadentdream!
and Happy Thanksgiving to all American flisters.
some news:
119 killed in Mumbai shootings, Indian commandoes kill last 3 gunmen at hotel
The latter article is more current. Just one tiny nitpick not intended to undermine the seriousness of the story: "Indian commandoes killed the last three gunman at a landmark hotel late Thursday."
I found this article a few minutes after seeing Robert Pattinson spelled as "Robert Pattison" on the ABC Thanksgiving program. aaaaargggghh
Protesters halt takeoffs at Thai airport.
To less serious matters:
Transporters 3’ Star Jason Statham on Fighting a Dozen Guys While Stripping
IT'S "TRANSPORTER 3" Vulture - you should know better!
I was working on the street selling perfume and jewelry, and to fantasize about working in action movies in Hollywood didn't make sense to me. I'm more of a realist. But I was lucky enough to get that leg up. Then I knuckled down and took it seriously.
Finally, the epic Harry Potter vs. Twilight article commentspam.
I collected some of the best quotes that I haven't seen posted elsewhere.
Warning: negative attitudes towards Twilight contained within. However, I tried get the more creative quotes. Just mentioning an awesome character doesn't count.
Edward, you know there's more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously sparkly.
Posted by: Zoolander
I wonder what would happen if I touched one...
Posted by: Ned the Pie Maker
I really wonder what would happen if Ned touched a vampire...
It was the best of stories, it was the worst of stories, it was the age of Harry Potter, it was the age of Twilight, it was the epoch of excellent adventures, it was the epoch of gross child-births, it was the season of Noble Wizards, it was the season of Wussy Vampires, it was the spring of victory over darkness, it was the winter of emo moping, we had marvelous magical spells before us, we had a whole lot of boring beige before us, we were all going direct to the fun-vee, we were all going direct to the humdrum-vee - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
Posted by: Charles Dickens
must not Twilight. Twilight is the mind-killer. Twilight is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face Twilight. I will pass over it in bookstores and not look. And when I have gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the Twilight has gone there will be nothing. Only Harry Potter will remain.
Posted by: Paul Atreides
If I confess to writing over 2,500 of these comments, will you guys fire me already?
Posted by: Robert Pattinson
"Oh how silly we’ve been!" Malfoy sneered. "We should have stroked the Twilights! Why didn’t we guess?"
"I-I thought they were funny," Hagrid said uncertainly to Hermione.
"Oh tremendously funny!" said Malfoy. "Really witty, giving us books that try and rip our brains out!"
Posted by: Draco Malfoy
When I read these "Twilight" books, these poor attempts at novels, I suddenly get an urge to edit the work of this flawed author. It appears there has been a major gap in the lore of vampires. Upon the first page of the first novel, an old quote of mine came to mind:
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
Posted by: Mark Twain
Phn'glui mglw'nafh Stephanie Meyer Twilight wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Posted by: Abdul al'Hazred
Hello Twilight,
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my sanity, my mother's sanity, my sisters' sanity, and my dog.
Prepare to die.
Posted by: Inigo Montoya
Twilight. Why did it have to be Twilight.
Posted by: Indiana Jones
"...the epic love story of a high-school girl (Bella) and her vampire beau (Edward) based on the hit book series by Stephenie Meyer..."
"...if you don't already have your tickets for the Thursday midnight opening of Twilight, chances are you won't be getting them. Online ticket providers are..."
"...'Twilight' is selling out its upcoming midnight shows at a frightening pace..."
I did it.
I DID IT!
Posted by: Adrian Veidt
Twilight is why I talk in a monotone.
Posted by: Rorshach
These are not the books you're looking for.
Posted by: Obi wan Kenobi
Twilight is the opium of the masses of teenage girls and frustrated housewives.
Posted by: Karl Marx
You wouldn't like me after I've read Twilight.
Posted by: Bruce Banner
I am greatly concerned about having sparkly vampires in the genre. And I do not care if they sparkle like diamonds, body glitter, newly fallen snow, or some kind of on-screen rainbow spectrum. I do not like sparkly vampires.
Posted by: Dwight K. Schrute
I miss Anne Rice. Congratulations, universe. You win.
Posted by: Jim Halpert
I did not read that book.
Posted by: Bill Clinton
OPRAH WOULD NOT TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOR.
Posted by: Edward
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this book.
Posted by: Ronald Reagan
Even I can't save the universe from Twilight.
Posted by: Flash (ah aaah) Gordon
-------
But maybe Impulse can! Impulse will save the univ--
Oh, wait. Impulse is dead.
Oh, God. Twilight killed Impulse!!! D:
Posted by: Fan in mourning.
Harvey Dent: Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
Alfred Pennyworth: Oh, you have no idea.
Posted by: The White Knight
Only you can prevent Twilight.
Posted by: Smokey the Bear
VEGETA. WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT TWILIGHT.
Posted by: Nappa
IT'S UNDER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!!!!!!
Posted by: Vegeta
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a sparkle.
Posted by: T.S. Eliot
Twilight, Twilight
Twilight, Twilight
It sweeps across the nation, the thoroughbred of crap
It can't believe you fell for such an obv'ous trap.
It needs some more attention, so let the wankers flap
ONTD it's up to you
(some Fandom_Wank would be nice too)
Twilight, Twilight
Twilight, it's bad
The Mormon league of Mormon is watching so beware
The thoughts that you think must be pure and free of swears.
So make the SMeyer gleeful, or no Midnight Sun, you hear?
You’re in it now; there’s no delight
It’s “hi-yo, sparklies!”
Signed: Twilight
Posted by: Bad Horse Chorus
BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? Not only the years we've been at war, the war of books, but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle, a never-ending fight, I say to you, and you will understand that it is a privilege to sparkle! WE ARE VAMPIRES! Twihards of North-Eastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No fandom is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you Edward Cullen is a bad man. They'll conjure up images of child molesters, and emo fools. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, fangirls of the world... unite. We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE SPARKLE. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE INTERNET...FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE SPARKLE!
Posted by: Dwight Schrute
Twilight made me do it.
Posted by: Edmond Dantes
Raskolnikov refused the water with his hand, and softly and brokenly, but distinctly said: "It was I who wrote Twilight."
Posted by: Dostoevsky
Twilight is the Jonas Brothers of literature.
Posted by: Laura
I'd tap that.
Posted by: Oscar Wilde
I find your lack of plot disturbing.
Posted by: Vader
In the beginning, Twilight was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
Posted by: Douglas Adams
Twilight is why all the rum is gone...
Posted by: Jack Sparrow
I'm a way better vampire than Edward.
Posted by: Bunnicula
Twilight can't catch me if I'm on fire. FACT.
Posted by: Dan McNinja
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Giles: You mean reading Twilight?
Buffy: Yeah, does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes. It's terribly simple, the grammar is lovely and the descriptions perfect. The vampires always sparkle. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their hoods, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day by talking out our differences with no violence whatsover. No one ever dies and... everybody lives happily ever after, especially after they read this wonderful book.
Buffy: Liar.
Posted by: Rupert Giles
PROJECT: Harry Potter
VICTIM: Twilight
Posted by: Blair Waldorf & Chuck Bass
LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE!!!!!
8'C
Posted by: Chris Crocker
All your sparkly vampires are belong to us.
Posted by: CATS
My pillow saw me looking at this page and I think he got scared that I was getting into the sparkly vampire's pillow fetish. Now I can't find my pillow anywhere.
He left me a note saying that he's running away to a place where there is no Twilight -- a safe haven for pillows of all kinds.
The note also said that I snore.
Please, if you see my pillow, please contact me. He must be very lost and alone right now. He is blue, about two feet long and one foot wide. He is very light and fluffy. He enjoys spending time at the head of any bed.
I miss my pillow. :'(
Posted by: :'(
Castiel: You have to stop it
Dean: Stop what?
Castiel: Sam is going down a dark path, Dean. He's reading Twilight. Stop him, or we will.
Posted by: Eric Kripke
On Notice:
Black Hole at Center of Galaxy
Filliam H Muffman
Grizzly Bears
Twilight
Barbra Streisand
The British Empire
The Toronto Raptors
"Business Casual"
Posted by: Stephen Colbert
Cookie Monster OM NOM NOM first but only cookies. OM NOM NOM wifey to get baby out GROSS.
Posted by: Cookie Monster
It was a SOCIAL EXPERIMENT!!!!!
Posted by: S. Meyer
Edward Cullin, you are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Posted by: Buzz Lightyear
Edward Cullin? He's no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.
Posted by: Captain Jack Sparrow
Edward Cullen [Flag as abusive]
Posted by: |
Jacob, why don't you and Edward just sit down over here on this couch...
Posted by: Chris Hansen
I wish the Twihards would stop abusing me.
Posted by: the Exclamation Point
And so all the sparkly spooky vampires went away. Every one. It was sort of too long of a long boring kind of series, but thanks for your support. That was the last book. May your brains rest in peace. Amen. And for the next series, we bring you Cowgirl Vampire Ed! Ed is the main character!
Posted by: Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivruski IV
That Edward sparkles more than me! WAAAAAAH I WANT DONUTS!!
Posted by: Sailor Moon
Twilight?
EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE!
Posted by: Dalek
Is that just revolting?
All fluffy and sparkling?
It looks like it's molting!
Only good for snarking.
A woman alone...with limited skill
And the worst book in Utah!
Ah, sir
Times is hard.
Times is hard.
Posted by: Mrs. Lovett
It's curtains for you, Twilight. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
Posted by: Captain Hammer
THE ARISTOCRATS!
Posted by: Stephenie Meyer
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
Posted by: CAKE
Edward Dazzled me and didn't pay for his Grand Slam.
Posted by: Denny's Waitress
Imprinting? An interesting excuse... I mean explanation.
Posted by: Humbert Humbert
You went full sparkle, man. Everybody knows you never go full sparkle.
Posted by: Kirk Lazarus
You look nervous...Is it the books? You wanna know how I got 'em? Come here...hey...look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful...like Edward...who tells me, I worry too much, who tells me I oughta read more. Who gambles and gets in deep...with the werewolves. One day they NOM her face. And we have no bling bling for surgeries. She can't read it. I just wanna see her read again...hmm. I just want her to know that I don't care about the shittty plot. So...I stick a bookmark in my mouth and do this...to Bella. And you know what?...HARRY POTTER CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME! She leaves...Now I see the funny side...Now I'm always VAMPIRE!
Posted by: the Joker
Really? I think you've said that before... (Besides, I'm fully willing to admit half of it was probably the Doctor's fault as he tried to stop you.)
Posted By: Romana
It was certainly not -me- this time. Why would -I- screw up the humans' vampire genre so badly? And WHY would I use so many blasted commas and grammatical errors? :|
Posted by: The Master
The same reason you kept trying to steal a broken down TARDIS? You are a MAD genius, after all. And this certainly is chaotic enough...
Posted By: Romana
Oi! What's this sparkling poof pretending to be a vampire? He's a bloody stalker and not very good at it. He didn't kill her best friends or dad or anyone to get her attention.
I think he's some kind of bleeding elf, myself.
Posted by: William the Bloody
Twilight is the reason I kill children.
Posted by: Hans Beckert
I tried to read Twilight once, and it was so bad that I started hiding in a cabinet so that I could escape from it. But it was also so boring that I fell asleep for like 20 years. Weird, eh?
Posted by: Cesare
What do you mean, they sparkle?!
Posted by: Buffy Summers
decadentdream!and Happy Thanksgiving to all American flisters.
some news:
119 killed in Mumbai shootings, Indian commandoes kill last 3 gunmen at hotel
The latter article is more current. Just one tiny nitpick not intended to undermine the seriousness of the story: "Indian commandoes killed the last three gunman at a landmark hotel late Thursday."
I found this article a few minutes after seeing Robert Pattinson spelled as "Robert Pattison" on the ABC Thanksgiving program. aaaaargggghh
Protesters halt takeoffs at Thai airport.
To less serious matters:
Transporters 3’ Star Jason Statham on Fighting a Dozen Guys While Stripping
IT'S "TRANSPORTER 3" Vulture - you should know better!
I was working on the street selling perfume and jewelry, and to fantasize about working in action movies in Hollywood didn't make sense to me. I'm more of a realist. But I was lucky enough to get that leg up. Then I knuckled down and took it seriously.
Finally, the epic Harry Potter vs. Twilight article commentspam.
I collected some of the best quotes that I haven't seen posted elsewhere.
Warning: negative attitudes towards Twilight contained within. However, I tried get the more creative quotes. Just mentioning an awesome character doesn't count.
Edward, you know there's more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously sparkly.
Posted by: Zoolander
I wonder what would happen if I touched one...
Posted by: Ned the Pie Maker
I really wonder what would happen if Ned touched a vampire...
It was the best of stories, it was the worst of stories, it was the age of Harry Potter, it was the age of Twilight, it was the epoch of excellent adventures, it was the epoch of gross child-births, it was the season of Noble Wizards, it was the season of Wussy Vampires, it was the spring of victory over darkness, it was the winter of emo moping, we had marvelous magical spells before us, we had a whole lot of boring beige before us, we were all going direct to the fun-vee, we were all going direct to the humdrum-vee - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
Posted by: Charles Dickens
must not Twilight. Twilight is the mind-killer. Twilight is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face Twilight. I will pass over it in bookstores and not look. And when I have gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the Twilight has gone there will be nothing. Only Harry Potter will remain.
Posted by: Paul Atreides
If I confess to writing over 2,500 of these comments, will you guys fire me already?
Posted by: Robert Pattinson
"Oh how silly we’ve been!" Malfoy sneered. "We should have stroked the Twilights! Why didn’t we guess?"
"I-I thought they were funny," Hagrid said uncertainly to Hermione.
"Oh tremendously funny!" said Malfoy. "Really witty, giving us books that try and rip our brains out!"
Posted by: Draco Malfoy
When I read these "Twilight" books, these poor attempts at novels, I suddenly get an urge to edit the work of this flawed author. It appears there has been a major gap in the lore of vampires. Upon the first page of the first novel, an old quote of mine came to mind:
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
Posted by: Mark Twain
Phn'glui mglw'nafh Stephanie Meyer Twilight wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Posted by: Abdul al'Hazred
Hello Twilight,
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my sanity, my mother's sanity, my sisters' sanity, and my dog.
Prepare to die.
Posted by: Inigo Montoya
Twilight. Why did it have to be Twilight.
Posted by: Indiana Jones
"...the epic love story of a high-school girl (Bella) and her vampire beau (Edward) based on the hit book series by Stephenie Meyer..."
"...if you don't already have your tickets for the Thursday midnight opening of Twilight, chances are you won't be getting them. Online ticket providers are..."
"...'Twilight' is selling out its upcoming midnight shows at a frightening pace..."
I did it.
I DID IT!
Posted by: Adrian Veidt
Twilight is why I talk in a monotone.
Posted by: Rorshach
These are not the books you're looking for.
Posted by: Obi wan Kenobi
Twilight is the opium of the masses of teenage girls and frustrated housewives.
Posted by: Karl Marx
You wouldn't like me after I've read Twilight.
Posted by: Bruce Banner
I am greatly concerned about having sparkly vampires in the genre. And I do not care if they sparkle like diamonds, body glitter, newly fallen snow, or some kind of on-screen rainbow spectrum. I do not like sparkly vampires.
Posted by: Dwight K. Schrute
I miss Anne Rice. Congratulations, universe. You win.
Posted by: Jim Halpert
I did not read that book.
Posted by: Bill Clinton
OPRAH WOULD NOT TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOR.
Posted by: Edward
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this book.
Posted by: Ronald Reagan
Even I can't save the universe from Twilight.
Posted by: Flash (ah aaah) Gordon
-------
But maybe Impulse can! Impulse will save the univ--
Oh, wait. Impulse is dead.
Oh, God. Twilight killed Impulse!!! D:
Posted by: Fan in mourning.
Harvey Dent: Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
Alfred Pennyworth: Oh, you have no idea.
Posted by: The White Knight
Only you can prevent Twilight.
Posted by: Smokey the Bear
VEGETA. WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT TWILIGHT.
Posted by: Nappa
IT'S UNDER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!!!!!!
Posted by: Vegeta
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a sparkle.
Posted by: T.S. Eliot
Twilight, Twilight
Twilight, Twilight
It sweeps across the nation, the thoroughbred of crap
It can't believe you fell for such an obv'ous trap.
It needs some more attention, so let the wankers flap
ONTD it's up to you
(some Fandom_Wank would be nice too)
Twilight, Twilight
Twilight, it's bad
The Mormon league of Mormon is watching so beware
The thoughts that you think must be pure and free of swears.
So make the SMeyer gleeful, or no Midnight Sun, you hear?
You’re in it now; there’s no delight
It’s “hi-yo, sparklies!”
Signed: Twilight
Posted by: Bad Horse Chorus
BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? Not only the years we've been at war, the war of books, but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle, a never-ending fight, I say to you, and you will understand that it is a privilege to sparkle! WE ARE VAMPIRES! Twihards of North-Eastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No fandom is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you Edward Cullen is a bad man. They'll conjure up images of child molesters, and emo fools. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, fangirls of the world... unite. We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE SPARKLE. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE INTERNET...FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE SPARKLE!
Posted by: Dwight Schrute
Twilight made me do it.
Posted by: Edmond Dantes
Raskolnikov refused the water with his hand, and softly and brokenly, but distinctly said: "It was I who wrote Twilight."
Posted by: Dostoevsky
Twilight is the Jonas Brothers of literature.
Posted by: Laura
I'd tap that.
Posted by: Oscar Wilde
I find your lack of plot disturbing.
Posted by: Vader
In the beginning, Twilight was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
Posted by: Douglas Adams
Twilight is why all the rum is gone...
Posted by: Jack Sparrow
I'm a way better vampire than Edward.
Posted by: Bunnicula
Twilight can't catch me if I'm on fire. FACT.
Posted by: Dan McNinja
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Giles: You mean reading Twilight?
Buffy: Yeah, does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes. It's terribly simple, the grammar is lovely and the descriptions perfect. The vampires always sparkle. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their hoods, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day by talking out our differences with no violence whatsover. No one ever dies and... everybody lives happily ever after, especially after they read this wonderful book.
Buffy: Liar.
Posted by: Rupert Giles
PROJECT: Harry Potter
VICTIM: Twilight
Posted by: Blair Waldorf & Chuck Bass
LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE!!!!!
8'C
Posted by: Chris Crocker
All your sparkly vampires are belong to us.
Posted by: CATS
My pillow saw me looking at this page and I think he got scared that I was getting into the sparkly vampire's pillow fetish. Now I can't find my pillow anywhere.
He left me a note saying that he's running away to a place where there is no Twilight -- a safe haven for pillows of all kinds.
The note also said that I snore.
Please, if you see my pillow, please contact me. He must be very lost and alone right now. He is blue, about two feet long and one foot wide. He is very light and fluffy. He enjoys spending time at the head of any bed.
I miss my pillow. :'(
Posted by: :'(
Castiel: You have to stop it
Dean: Stop what?
Castiel: Sam is going down a dark path, Dean. He's reading Twilight. Stop him, or we will.
Posted by: Eric Kripke
On Notice:
Black Hole at Center of Galaxy
Filliam H Muffman
Grizzly Bears
Twilight
Barbra Streisand
The British Empire
The Toronto Raptors
"Business Casual"
Posted by: Stephen Colbert
Cookie Monster OM NOM NOM first but only cookies. OM NOM NOM wifey to get baby out GROSS.
Posted by: Cookie Monster
It was a SOCIAL EXPERIMENT!!!!!
Posted by: S. Meyer
Edward Cullin, you are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Posted by: Buzz Lightyear
Edward Cullin? He's no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.
Posted by: Captain Jack Sparrow
Edward Cullen [Flag as abusive]
Posted by: |
Jacob, why don't you and Edward just sit down over here on this couch...
Posted by: Chris Hansen
I wish the Twihards would stop abusing me.
Posted by: the Exclamation Point
And so all the sparkly spooky vampires went away. Every one. It was sort of too long of a long boring kind of series, but thanks for your support. That was the last book. May your brains rest in peace. Amen. And for the next series, we bring you Cowgirl Vampire Ed! Ed is the main character!
Posted by: Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivruski IV
That Edward sparkles more than me! WAAAAAAH I WANT DONUTS!!
Posted by: Sailor Moon
Twilight?
EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE!
Posted by: Dalek
Is that just revolting?
All fluffy and sparkling?
It looks like it's molting!
Only good for snarking.
A woman alone...with limited skill
And the worst book in Utah!
Ah, sir
Times is hard.
Times is hard.
Posted by: Mrs. Lovett
It's curtains for you, Twilight. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
Posted by: Captain Hammer
THE ARISTOCRATS!
Posted by: Stephenie Meyer
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
THE SPARKLE IS A LIE . . .
Posted by: CAKE
Edward Dazzled me and didn't pay for his Grand Slam.
Posted by: Denny's Waitress
Imprinting? An interesting excuse... I mean explanation.
Posted by: Humbert Humbert
You went full sparkle, man. Everybody knows you never go full sparkle.
Posted by: Kirk Lazarus
You look nervous...Is it the books? You wanna know how I got 'em? Come here...hey...look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful...like Edward...who tells me, I worry too much, who tells me I oughta read more. Who gambles and gets in deep...with the werewolves. One day they NOM her face. And we have no bling bling for surgeries. She can't read it. I just wanna see her read again...hmm. I just want her to know that I don't care about the shittty plot. So...I stick a bookmark in my mouth and do this...to Bella. And you know what?...HARRY POTTER CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME! She leaves...Now I see the funny side...Now I'm always VAMPIRE!
Posted by: the Joker
Really? I think you've said that before... (Besides, I'm fully willing to admit half of it was probably the Doctor's fault as he tried to stop you.)
Posted By: Romana
It was certainly not -me- this time. Why would -I- screw up the humans' vampire genre so badly? And WHY would I use so many blasted commas and grammatical errors? :|
Posted by: The Master
The same reason you kept trying to steal a broken down TARDIS? You are a MAD genius, after all. And this certainly is chaotic enough...
Posted By: Romana
Oi! What's this sparkling poof pretending to be a vampire? He's a bloody stalker and not very good at it. He didn't kill her best friends or dad or anyone to get her attention.
I think he's some kind of bleeding elf, myself.
Posted by: William the Bloody
Twilight is the reason I kill children.
Posted by: Hans Beckert
I tried to read Twilight once, and it was so bad that I started hiding in a cabinet so that I could escape from it. But it was also so boring that I fell asleep for like 20 years. Weird, eh?
Posted by: Cesare
What do you mean, they sparkle?!
Posted by: Buffy Summers
